I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Randomize
