and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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