STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
