dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
