dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
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