If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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