one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
you made out with another girl for some wings
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
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