Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
