Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
