after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Randomize
