I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
