oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
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