Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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