Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
