It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Randomize
