I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
