2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
