Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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