I wish i was in the wii world.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
