So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Randomize
