Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
She's like a pop up book from hell.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I would fuck him just for his dog
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