Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize
