Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
