Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Randomize
