So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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