I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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