if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
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