hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
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