what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
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