dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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