i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
