Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
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