Capitaan dildo arrescate!
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Woke up backwards on a recliner
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
