Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Randomize
