you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
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