Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
areolas are like halos for boobs.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Randomize
