it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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