I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
