If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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