I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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