i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
