How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
