I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
is wine microwaveable?
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
i think we sleep fucked last night...
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
