so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Randomize