your thong is hanging out like whoa
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Randomize
