i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
