if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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