but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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