Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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