Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Randomize
