why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize
