I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Randomize
