So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
