the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Randomize
