It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
