hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
