I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
