Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Randomize
