I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
My bed is full of blood and feathers
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
