I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Randomize
