please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Randomize
