so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
