found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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