I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
