Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
