Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
