No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
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